Yuliya, Ben and baby Mark

I had to have a C-section in my 1st pregnancy due to placenta previa so when my 2nd pregnancy was confirmed to be a healthy one I was very keen on trying for a vaginal delivery.  After some research I learned that having a doula increases one's chances of successful vaginal birth so I decided to hire one to up my chances.  I was never skeptical about the role of doula; however, after interviewing several I realized that there was a wide spectrum of doulas out there when it came to their beliefs about birth, their attitudes towards medical establishment, birthing in a hospital even, choices of pain relief, etc.  Meeting a wide array of doulas made it obvious for me that a wrong doula can spoil your birthing experience by imposing her own biases so it is very important to choose one who would be in tune with your views.  Nicole was that person for me.  We both understood that things can go wrong with VBAC so she knew that I wanted to celebrate every small victory in order not to be disappointed if the big prize is not claimed, so to speak. By the time we arrived in the hospital I was fully dilated and was never left alone to fend for myself, which was my initial fear and one of the reasons for hiring a doula.  However, here are specific things, which were better for me because i had you: a lot of information quickly available in the weeks leading to delivery, ranging from a good acupuncturist to blood cord banks; great daily support as I was going overdue and getting nervous about what that could mean for my chances of VBAC; amazing support on the way to the hospital and when we arrived there as I was in transitional labour and really had a hard time focusing.  It was great to have someone there who could not only lead me and help me with contractions, but also knew the lay of the land at Mt Sinai; great support during pushing because doula is pretty much the only person who focuses on your face and can guess when you need a drink of water or feeling nauseous.  The rest of the people in the room tend to focus on your other body parts :) 

Of course, I would recommend having a doula especially to women labouring for the first time, but there is something I want to mention here.  As a person who watched "The business of being born" way too many times, one of the reasons I wanted to have a doula was to have a buffer between me and the 'medical establishment' who might be pushing unnecessary interventions and take away my opportunity to have a natural birth.  During the process of interviewing doulas I realized that many doulas were too anti 'medical establishment' even for my taste.  As you know, I went on to have a uterine rupture, that unlikely and dangerous complication of VBAC.  I realize that if nature had its way neither I nor my two children would be around (uterine septum, placenta previa and now uterine rupture - what an obstetric basket case!)  So I am grateful to modern obstetrics. I also realize that a lot of precautionary and/or overly cautious hospital protocols exist because of women like me.  Of course, they are hinderance to many healthy women whose birth experiences are tempered with, but they are life savers for the likes of me. And since a lot of doulas are passionate critics of hospitals' ways it puts me a bit at odds with the doula community.  In my experience, I felt like my doctor and all the hospital staff were very committed in granting my wish of VBAC, I did not feel like epidural was pushed onto me (yes, it was always there as an option and I reached for it when I realized that something was off and I would not be pushing out my baby as quickly as everyone initially predicted), the after birth care was excellent.

I had a good experience with you as a doula (although I know from your blog that you too hold many reservations against the way things are done at hospitals here) because you are able not to bring your biases into your work and I think it is worth a lot.

My partying wish from the childbearing world as I will not be trying my luck again is for the medical and doula communities to form a more harmonious relationship as you are working towards the same goal of healthy and satisfied mothers and babies; the more satisfied mothers are the healthier they are (even if things go awry) and vice versa.  

Lily Cheng, Alan and baby Carter

Maybe you've never heard of the word Doula.  That was me 1 year ago before a pee stick changed my life.  After I decided to go with midwifery care, I questioned the necessity of seeking additional support.  But after researching more about the role a Doula plays (i.e. they focus on YOU the mom's birth experience whereas medical staff and midwives are more focused on the safe arrival of your baby), I realized that this was something I wanted, in fact, needed.  The price seemed a little steep at the time, but now, looking back, it was totally worth the investment, and it really isn't that much for all the time Nicole makes herself available to you on an on-call basis, in addition to the wealth of resources she provides! 

I have to say that it is because of Nicole McKay's attentive, experienced and professional care that I was able to successfully deliver a natural drug-free birth - no small feat for someone with very little pain tolerance.  I won't gloss over things for you - the birth was excruciatingly painful.  Bones moved, muscles stretched, and a head popped out.  I almost hyperventilated several times.  BUT, Nicole was there, holding my hand, centering my breathes, and giving me the courage to face each contraction.  Even though we took prenatal classes and had some knowledge of counter pressure, my husband would have been unable to help me out without Nicole's guidance.  She knew exactly where to press in those painful moments.  And sometimes I needed her hands, along with my husbands to make it through.  

I dreamed of having a village-type birthing experience, surrounded by familiar faces who would lovingly support me in one of the most significant moments a woman can experience.  Having Nicole by my side paired with midwifery care gave me as close to this ideal as I believe is possible in our modern context.  I would not hesitate to recommend Nicole to anyone.  

Many of my friends are shocked that I was able to have a natural birth.  But really, I can't take any credit.  There is no way I could have done it without Nicole!  Thank-you Nicole, for enabling us to have such a positive birth experience!  

Arejta Meneri

We were initially unsure about the role a doula would fulfill during the birth of our daughter but after meeting Nicole we became aware of the importance of having someone support our choices during the birthing process. 

Nicole was instrumental in providing the knowledge and guidance that was necessary in achieving the birthing process that we wished for. We found the pre-labor appointments very helpful in getting us in the right frame of mind and her online resources were a great source of information. 

When labor started 2 weeks early, she was extremely helpful in getting us through the initial shock. She came to our home to confirm that labor had started, traveled with us to the hospital and stayed until birth was completed. Throughout that time Nicole gave positive reinforcement to keep us on track and ensure that we stayed true to our choices. She also used a wide variety of techniques to help deal with labor, many of which we practiced beforehand but would not have remembered on the day if she had not been there. We found the labor process very long, and we are confident that without the assistance of Nicole, we would have resorted to medical assistance that was contrary to our initial wishes. 

Her assistance did not stop with birth. Nicole followed up a number of times to ensure breastfeeding was progressing well and was very helpful in assisting us with proper positioning and latch to ensure optimal breastfeeding. 

I would certainly recommend Nicole to expectant parents. Within a short period of time, and especially during the labor process, we felt like Nicole was a member of our family. Whatever your wishes, the birthing process is unpredictable and sometimes difficult. Nicole is equipped with the knowledge and experience to help you achieve the birthing process you desire. Most importantly, her warm approach makes her support invaluable at such a time.

Yuliya

I had to have a C-section in my 1st pregnancy due to placenta previa so when my 2nd pregnancy was confirmed to be a healthy one I was very keen on trying for a vaginal delivery.  After some research I learned that having a doula increases one's chances of successful vaginal birth so I decided to hire one to up my chances.  I was never skeptical about the role of doula; however, after interviewing several I realized that there was a wide spectrum of doulas out there when it came to their beliefs about birth, their attitudes towards medical establishment, birthing in a hospital even, choices of pain relief, etc.  Meeting a wide array of doulas made it obvious for me that a wrong doula can spoil your birthing experience by imposing her own biases so it is very important to choose one who would be in tune with your views.  Nicole was that person for me. By the time we arrived in the hospital I was fully dilated and was never left alone to fend for myself, which was my initial fear and one of the reasons for hiring a doula.  However, here are specific things, which were better for me because I had you:

- a lot of information quickly available in the weeks leading to delivery, ranging from a good acupuncturist to blood cord banks 

- great daily support as I was going overdue and getting nervous about what that could mean for my chances of VBAC

- amazing support on the way to the hospital and when we arrived there as I was in transitional labour and really had a hard time focusing.  It was great to have someone there who could not only lead me and help me with contractions, but also knew the lay of the land at Mt Sinai 

- great support during pushing because a doula is pretty much the only person who focuses on your face and can guess when you need a drink of water or feeling nauseous.  The rest of the people in the room tend to focus on your other body parts :) 

Maria-Nicole, Christian, and baby Kleo

We decided to hire a doula because as first time parents we didn't know what to expect. And in that frame of mind we sought out any additional help we could, barring family and friends. We were aiming for a natural home birth with midwives present and as we didn't know anyone personally who'd had this experience some extra assistance was needed. We were right! Looking online we found a consolidated list of doula's in Toronto. As a military family we were drawn to Nicole (though that wasn't the critical factor, experience was). After calling she reassured us. Being an active service member and mother she was sympathetic to our situation. She confided that at one point in her life she needed that support and thought that she would become a doula to provide the service she had once lacked. It was a calling. I'm so glad we went with Nicole. She continually keeps herself up to date on the 'birthing world' and will provide that knowledge to you before, during and after birth. In that period Nicole has been available for questions, she showed us acupressure points to assist with pre and early labour, she also provided excellent early breastfeeding support. As for my labour it had stopped and started for a few days before we finally established active labour with Nicole's help. We walked up stairs, did exercises and remained upright for hours. After my midwife attended and my labour progressed, it was determined that we had to break my water. This is when we found out that my baby's head was asynclitic. This added an unknown element to my labour and now I really understand how lucky I was to have someone with Nicole's experience with me. She helped me into positions to help turn my baby, reminded me of homeopathics (prescribed by my naturopathic doctor) and assisted and supported me as I pushed for 2 hours. Although I really struggled through this, without both my husband and Nicole's unrelenting support I would have been in the hospital having a caesarean. Nicole was with me for 24 hours as we welcomed our daughter into this world naturally and at home, achieving exactly what we had wanted.  Thank you Nicole for everything you did to support me and my husband throughout the lengthy process of birthing our daughter and beyond.

Jennie Weller

We were so pleased with Nicole! She was such an incredible support to us during labour. She was so knowledgeable about the birthing process, and really helped us communicating with hospital staff so that we had a really good understanding of what was happening, which helped us in our decision making.

She has also been a great support to us during the sometimes rocky transition into new parenthood; helping to build our confidence and give us lots of tips and tools to make breastfeeding and life with a newborn that much easier.

I would (and have!) recommend Nicole to anyone who is having a baby, as her help was invaluable.

Dana Cooke

Nicole was a great addition to our pregnancy and birthing process. She interviewed well, took the time to come to us and answered any and all questions we had (and still do!) at our home visits and via email. She was personable, cheerful and attentive, showing us there is a lot of information and helped us to become knowledgeable about our choices and options. She was always prompt and when I needed a bit of an emergency break-down visit, came straight away. Now that's support! :)

I would highly recommend her to any newly pregnant (first time or otherwise) mother/family. Her breastfeeding knowledge was invaluable!

Tina Baltare

It’s 3am Saturday morning and I hate waking anyone one up at that hour, even people who are expecting me too.  So, tentatively, I call my doula and hear a cheery, “Good Morning!”; my previous apprehensions disappeared, it was like she had been up for hours just waiting for my call.  I explain that I had been feeling contractions and she suggested it was time I call my mom and sister to the city.   It was a relief to have someone take control of the decision that I had been mulling around in my head for hours.   I called my family and this is where things began to get real…I was in labour.

Nicole came to my house in the evening of Saturday and was my rock and support.  I was especially thankful that my family got to get some much needed sleep while Nicole stayed up with me throughout the night – I will never forget the movies that we ‘watched’  twice each while labouring throughout the night -Time Travellers Wife and Mean Girls- which were on repeat on late night tv.  She was calm, supportive and caring as I moaned and swayed throughout the night; helping me find positions that were comfortable and physically supporting my weight as I crouched in yet another contraction.  Nicole also helped me make the decision to make yet another early morning call to my midwives.   Nicole continued to be a great support throughout the rest of the labour, she not only supported me but my mom, who was having a hard time seeing her ‘little girl’ in pain.  She also physically supported my sister when she needed someone to lean on as she supported me in active labour.  She provided hugs, massage, encouraging words and extra hands when needed.   I am very grateful for having such a supportive doula as part of my journey into motherhood, as I brought my beautiful son, Foster, into this world.   Thank you Nicole for being a part of this amazing experience!

I also wanted to add that you gave me invaluable information on breastfeeding. I felt confident that I would be able to breastfeed with the information you provided prior to my son’s birth and the support you offered once Foster was born.  I was very lucky that breastfeeding went smoothly but I knew I could call on you if I ever needed any help.  Thank you for this too!

Dr Sheth, Mount Sinai Hospital

Very helpful in pain management!

Sharon

Nicole is an excellent doula! I have learned a lot from her. She is extremely knowledgeable and supportive. I would recommend her to other pregnant women to be their doula.

Dorothy and Sean

A very wonderful class – really supported a woman focused birth experience. Was able
to answer all our questions incredibly knowledgeably. Solid communication skills, very
comfortable class. Very pleased with the whole experience.

Salvina and Vince

My husband and I believe that these classes better prepared us for our 1st experience of having a child.

Belinda

Nicole was an excellent source of support and information. Her manner is pleasant and easy- going. I appreciated her support.

Christine, Registered Midwife

Nicole exemplifies the essence of “mothering the mother” and the supportive care and expertise that is necessary as a good doula. She assists families to navigate their own experience and enjoy their birth experience, without being dogmatic or critical. It is a joy to work with a doula that is a true member of the team.

Registered Nurse, North York General Hospital

Very supportive to patient and helpful to the L & D team!!

P. and J., first time parents

Words can’t describe the gratitude I feel for the support and companionship you provided to me during my labour. For a stranger to show me such unfailing kindness at such an important and vulnerable time in my life, I am reminded of what makes life and being alive such a wonderful gift.

Shelly, Joshua, and baby Liam

Nicole was absolutely amazing from the first session to the last. Both my partner and myself were impressed with her confidence, knowledge, and care. She truly fulfilled all of our needs and far exceeded our expectations. She helped me stick to my birth plan and was pivotal at helping me through the tough labour. She knew the right things to say and her techniques worked. I can’t imagine going through it without her. She is truly not only an amazing doula, but an amazing person. We will definitely keep in touch and recommend her to friends. Nicole, we can’t thank you enough.

Ryan

Karen and I couldn’t be happier with the services and, more importantly, the support we received from you. Ethan is thriving (he has put on almost 2 lbs in just over two weeks) and he and Karen have feeding down to a science. Your help gave us the knowledge and confidence to get over our fears of being first-time parents and we felt like you were available by email even when you weren’t here. We have already recommended you to friends and will continue to do so without hesitation.

Karen Kaiser

Until my daughter, Tina, was pregnant I was unaware that the doula plays an important and integral part in the birthing experience. I first met Nicole a few weeks before the birth at Tina’s home. She came laden with equipment and tricks to make the labour bearable. She explained everything that was going to happen during the labour and how she would help. Her calm and cheerful nature made Tina believe that she could definitely do this! Feb.4 at 1:30 am Tina was feeing mild contractions and not wanting to disturb anyone…she tried to sleep. Finally, at 3:00, am she called Nicole and was pleasantly greeted with a wide awake and cheerful “Good morning”. As she coached Tina, her patience, strength and guidance was evident. All night she instilled a confidence and calm as they chanted and rocked through the pain. (I was able to get a few hours sleep). Finally, at 6:00 the midwives came and Nicole’s role changed to helper and supporter for the midwives. She continued to support Tina and she also showed concern for me….as I tearfully and helplessly felt the pain for my daughter. And when our little baby boy entered the world there wasn’t a dry eye in the house!! She has visited and contacted Tina since the birth….always interested and always caring. She obviously loves her work and is very good at it. Thank you, Nicole.

Chiara

Nicole is an outgoing and dynamic Doula. She is very knowledgeable in her field and works to provide an individual and personalized experience. Her scope of practice is wide (childbirth education, labour/birth support, breast-feeding assistance etc) which allows parents to establish a trusted working relationship. Not only is she informative and helpful, she is also comforting and reassuring. Additionally, Nicole is very flexible which I found to be one of the most important aspects of her role before and after the birth of our son. I highly recommend Nicole and am looking forward to her support and assistance again when we have our next child.